10 Years

My life has been rapidly changing over the last eight weeks. Prior to this time, I was unknowingly and unintentionally wearing black armor, which led to blending in and hiding. The path was my fault, but the damage wasn’t. It started in my youth, and like an old dirt running track, I ran the tread deep, year after year. I got so deep into what I now describe as a well.

I was in the dark. I didn’t know who I was, where I was, or how I would get out. I didn’t even know I was “in” until recently. I was blind. Then someone threw me a flashlight, threw down the pail, and I started climbing up and out.

I started to realize and recognize the pain.

Most who know me know I am high-functioning. I have never missed a day being there for my kids, and I have managed to create a multi-million dollar business.

Once gaining clarity, I saw that the only way to fix it is to accept it responsibly, detox, move on, and grow past it.

That is where I am right now.

If you read each daily post, you will notice many changes within me.

I didn’t know I was in the midst of choas.

I have no remorse, animosity, and no regrets. I am not a victim. I am a survivor.

I am now entering a new period of my life—one with a clean slate. I am taking everything I have learned over the last 37 years and bringing it with me—not as a broken person but as a whole person. One who still cries sometimes but is the happiest person she has ever been.

My life will change a lot with each month looking different than the previous, but I am ready for this next chapter. I really cannot believe how free and happy I am.

I look back and think, if I could do all I have done while in that darkness, imagine what you can do in this light, with the right people surrounding you and with no one pulling you down or holding you back.

I am ready.

With love, Jo.