Today is a good day, my realtor friend.

Friday, August 9th, 2024

Dear Realtor,

I hope you are having a lovely day. Over here, in my neck of the woods, the sun shines (quite literally on my back) as I write this. Massive amounts of light is flooding through the window behind me. Today is a good day.

I just returned from a walk and bike ride. Husband and I were craving cottage cheese to go with our freshly cut melon, so we decided to use our morning walk as transportation to the grocery store. On our way, we passed a garage sale, where I found books for only 5¢. I don’t think you can buy anything for 5¢ these days. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any cash on me, so once we returned home, I found 85¢ (I borrowed it from the eight-year-old), threw it in a plastic baggie, and hopped on my bike with a reusable bag in tow.

I love books. I think I have already expressed this, but this morning, during our walk, I knew what I wanted to share with you next. One of my latest and favorite finds is a new book I picked up at one of our recent dates at Barnes & Noble: SENECA Letters from a Stoic. I haven’t finished yet, but the book is so good that I downloaded the audible version, which is even more amazing because of the accent.

Seneca’s letters are a treasure trove of philosophical wisdom, covering a vast array of topics that are as relevant today as they were in ancient Rome. At its core, the collection focuses on the pursuit of virtue, wisdom, and moral character — foundational concepts in Stoic philosophy. Seneca delves deep into practical advice for dealing with life’s challenges, from facing adversity and misfortune to managing wealth and time. He explores the human condition, offering insights on overcoming fear and anxiety, finding true happiness, and cultivating meaningful friendships.

Throughout the letters, Seneca consistently emphasizes the importance of self-discipline and continuous learning. What I most love about what Seneca does in his letters is that he continually emphasizes the role of philosophy in everyday life. He argues that philosophical principles should not be mere academic exercises but should inform how we live, make decisions, and interact with others. This practical application of philosophy has helped it remain relevant all these years later.

But the letter I wanted to share with you today is Letter VII. If you have time, I recommend you skip my interpretation and read the full letter below. Within this letter, Seneca warns against the danger of immersing oneself in crowds and mass spectacles. He argues that such environments can be detrimental to one’s moral character and philosophical progress. Seneca believes that in crowds, we become more susceptible to adopting vices and giving in to the pressure of conformity, potentially undoing our personal growth. He likens a person working on their moral character to someone recovering from illness, advising both to avoid situations that could reverse their progress. Instead, Seneca advocates for carefully selecting companions, preferring those who can teach and improve us rather than merely entertain. He emphasizes the value of self-reflection and solitude, suggesting that meaningful growth often occurs in quieter, more intentional settings. Ultimately, Seneca’s message is a call for mindfulness in choosing our social environments, prioritizing quality relationships over popularity, and protecting our ethical development from the potentially corrupting influence of the masses.

Full Letter VII

YOU ask me to say what you should consider it particularly important to avoid. My answer is this: a mass crowd. It is something to which you cannot entrust yourself yet without risk. I at any rate am ready to confess my own frailty in this respect. I never come back home with quite the same moral character I went out with; something or other becomes unsettled where I had achieved internal peace, some one or other of the things I had put to flight reappears on the scene. We who are recovering from a prolonged spiritual sickness are in the same condition as invalids who have been affected to such an extent by prolonged indisposition that they cannot once be taken out of doors without ill effects. Associating with people in large numbers is actually harmful: there is not one of them that will not make some vice or other attractive to us, or leave us carrying the imprint of it or bedaubed all unawares with it. And inevitably enough, the larger the size of the crowd we mingle with, the greater the danger. But nothing is as ruinous to the character as sitting away one’s time at a show — for it is then, through the medium of entertainment, that vices creep into one with more than usual ease. What do you take me to mean? That I go home more selfish, more self-seeking and more self-indulgent? Yes, and what is more, a person crueller and less humane through having been in contact with human beings. I happened to go to one of these shows at the time of the lunch-hour interlude, expecting there to be some light and witty entertainment then, some respite for the purpose of affording people’s eyes a rest from human blood. Far from it. All the earlier contests were charity in comparison. The nonsense is dispensed with now: what we have now is murder pure and simple. The combatants have nothing to protect them; their whole bodies are exposed to the blows; every thrust they launch gets home. A great many spectators prefer this to the ordinary matches and even to the special, popular demand ones. And quite naturally. There are no helmets and no shields repelling the weapons. What is the point of armour? Or of skill? All that sort of thing just makes the death slower in coming. In the morning men are thrown to the lions and the bears: but it is the spectators they are thrown to in the lunch hour. The spectators insist that each on killing his man shall be thrown against another to be killed in his turn; and the eventual victor is reserved by them for some other form of butchery; the only exit for the contestants is death. Fire and steel keep the slaughter going. And all this happens while the arena is virtually empty.

But he was a highway robber, he killed a man.” And what of it? Granted that as a murderer he deserved this punishment, what have you done, you wretched fellow, to deserve to watch it? “Kill him! Flog him! Burn him! Why does he run at the other man’s weapon in such a cowardly way? Why isn’t he less half-hearted about killing? Why isn’t he a bit more enthusiastic
about dying? Whip him forward to get his wounds! Make them each offer the other a bare breast and trade blow for blow on them.‟ And when there is an interval in the show: “Let’s have some throats cut in the meantime, so that there‟’s something happening!” Come now, I say, surely you people realize — if you realize nothing else — that bad examples have a way of recoiling on those who set them? Give thanks to the immortal gods that the men to whom you are giving a lesson in cruelty are not in a position to profit from it.

When a mind is impressionable and has none too firm a hold on what is right, it must be rescued from the crowd: it is so easy for it to go over to the majority. A Socrates, a Cato or a Laelius might have been shaken in his principles by a multitude of people different from himself: such is the measure of the inability of any of us, even as we perfect our personality’s adjustment, to withstand the onset of vices when they come with such a mighty following. A single example of extravagance or greed does a lot of harm — an intimate who leads a pampered life gradually makes one soft and flabby; a wealthy neighbour provokes cravings in one; a companion with a malicious nature tends to rub off some of his rust even on someone of an innocent and open-hearted nature — what then do you imagine the effect on a person’s character is when the assault comes from the world at large? You must inevitably either hate or imitate the world. But the right thing is to shun both courses: you should neither become like the bad because they are many, nor be an enemy of the many because they are unlike you. Retire into yourself as much as you can. Associate with people who are likely to improve you. Welcome those whom you are capable of improving. The process is a mutual one: men learn as they teach. And there is no reason why any pride in advertising your talents abroad should lure you forward into the public eye, inducing you to give readings of your works or deliver lectures. I should be glad to see you doing that if what you had to offer them was suitable for the crowd I have been talking about: but the fact is, not one of them is really capable of understanding you. You might perhaps come across one here and there, but even they would need to be trained and developed by you to a point where they could grasp your teaching. “For whose benefit, then, did I learn it all?” If it was for your own benefit that you learnt it you have no call to fear that your trouble may have been wasted.

Just to make sure that I have not been learning solely for my own benefit today, let me share with you three fine quotations I have come across, each concerned with something like the same idea — one of them is by way of payment of the usual debt so far as this letter is concerned, and the other two you are to regard as an advance on account. “To me,” says Democritus, “a single man is a crowd, and a crowd is a single man. “Equally good is the answer given by the person, whoever it was (his identity is uncertain), who when asked what was the object of all the trouble he took over a piece of craftsmanship when it would never reach more than a very few people, replied: “A few is enough for me; so is one; and so is none. “The third is a nice expression used by Epicurus in a letter to one of his colleagues. “I am writing this,” he says, “not for the eyes of the many, but for yours alone: for each of us is audience enough for the other.” Lay these up in your heart, my dear Lucilius, that you may scorn the pleasure that comes from the majority’s approval. The many speak highly of you, but have you really any grounds for satisfaction with yourself if you are the kind of person the many understand? Your merits should not be outward facing.

So, how does this relate to real estate and you, the Realtor?

I don’t know where you are at in your real estate journey, but I remember there came a point when I started attending conferences. I came home from the first one with lots of energy but also the mentality that I needed a nanny and a personal assistant as soon as possible, with no genuine regard for my current goals, financial situation, or long-term goals. And every conference or meetup since then, they chipped away at my self-confidence, perception, and mental well-being. I lost myself, forgot what I stood for, and ended up chasing the dreams of others.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was surrounded by “successful” people and cult-like, looking up to those on stage, and I didn’t know I was successful. That year, I grossed $500,000 in commissions, owned my brokerage, and employed a team on salary.

I don’t have any regrets, but I have a lot of learned lessons. These lessons are the ones I am trying to share. I want the walk to have a greater purpose than just helping me. I want to help others.

So, realtor, when you are ready, I am your guide, friend, and resource.

With love, Jordan

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Connect with me — http://joandcoaching.com/call